You Know You Want These ...

So last night, Carolyn and I took all of our kidlings to see Journey to the Center of the Earth in *3-D*. Emphasis on *3-D* because, well, seeing Encino Man in 3-D was just that much better.

The thing about it, though, was that it was hot. I mean, really. In the movie, the temperature keeps rising, and while Brendan and his cohorts were tromping around the center of the earth trying to escape the rising thermals, all I kept thinking was, "They should be sweating more." For much of the movie, Fraser's character was wearing a long-sleeved long underwear shirt, despite temps of around 105 degrees. Maybe I'm jaded because I've got Phoenix sensibilities, but I was thinking that maybe that might be warm enough to make him drip a little more perspiration. I'm just sayin'.

So anyway. I decided that I kind of liked my new 3-D glasses. And since they did cost an extra $2, and what with the economic depression we're all in right now, I thought I'd get some extra use out of them. I'm wearing them at the office today to see if they change my perspective. They're pretty cool, and everyone who's come in to ask me for stuff today has acted a little differently. It goes something like this:

OFFICE PERSON: [walks around the corner into my doorway] Do you have that information on ... [appears to have lost their train of thought]

[pause as OP ponders whether or not to ask] Um, that information on the budget issue we talked about.

ME: Yeah. Here you go. [hands OP a piece of paper from the (truly organized, I promise) pile on desk]

OP: Thanks. [still pondering] Have you launched that Recovery Start Kit promotion?

ME: [looking very serious] Yes, I have. What I've noticed is that there may be a lag in conversions due to the need for an education process. I'm finding that the clickover rate into the website has increased, although I don't see an overall net increase in sales in the minimal amount of time we've run the promotion. I would propose that it's because this is the first time many of these people are hearing about this product. The function of this campaign, then, is most likely to provide a catalyst to increase, over the next several months, the ratio of impressions to conversions. [blink ... blink]

OP: [stifling the urge to crack up] What did you say? [pause] Oh, nevermind. [Leaves the room]

So I am realizing that life is truly different in 3-D. People treat you differently, perhaps as if you have some contagious super power. I know now how it feels to be different, and all I can say is, "Don't be a hater."